the video isn't anything spectacular but whoever is singing does a fantastic job with this song!
This will probably be one of the most disjointed entries I've ever written; things that come from the heart often are. Am I the only one that has ever felt that God just isn't listening? That just perhaps, maybe He doesn't really care about what is on your heart? Maybe I'm the only one unspiritual enough to admit it but hey, I have both hands up!
I recently made the remark that this past year has been the worst year I can ever remember having; it has been rough. It has been a year of great extremes... I have been at a place in my Christian walk where I thought my faith was strong enough to literally move mountains and then I've spiraled to the very lowest hell that a saved person can ever experience. Thank God that the literal Hell is not for God's children!
It's been a year of gain and of loss....a year of joy and of heartbreak....so many high's and lows.
I've come to find out that once a heart has really been broken, it doesn't mend on other people's time table. That loss isn't something you "get over" simply because someone else thinks you should. I've seen first hand how God can continue to supply each and every need (and He has) yet it feels like that isn't enough.
Grief and storms are like walking a tight rope. There's the "shoulds" on one side: "You should just trust God", "You should just be thankful for what you have.", "You should just give it to God and move on." and then there's the "I feel" on the other side: "but I feel like hiding under the covers till this storm passes." "I feel like wallowing in self-pity; just leave me alone.", "I don't feel like everything is going to be alright or this storm is ever going to pass.". And you continue to walk that tight rope, some days leaning more towards one side than the other, always trying to not fall off completely.
I have learned that you just have to trust the Word of God.....not because you feel like it, not even because you are seeing the truth in it at the moment, but because deep down, you just know that God cannot lie. If the Bible says it's so, than by faith, we simply have to believe it.
Does it feel like God is listening? that He's really hearing my pleas? Right now? No....I know that if I could just touch the hem of His garment, my heart's cry would be answered. I wonder why He is silent to my tears. Maybe He's answered and I'm just not listening close enough. Maybe I can't hear Him because of all the chatter going on in my own head. I don't know. However, I do know what God's Word says:
Hebrews 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Jesus knows....and He cares!
Psalms 56:8 Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
You don't bottle something and keep it unless it's important to you...
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
When there are no words, the precious Holy Spirit of God
is making intercession...
Yesterday, today, forever - God does not change and He loves me - He loves YOU. Maybe you too feel like God is a million miles away. Maybe you have been walking through the valley and you don't think you'll ever see a mountaintop again....Jesus cares. If I didn't believe that, life wouldn't be worth living. Growth comes in the valleys and one day, each of us will look back to where we've been and be able to be thankful for it, because the experience drew us closer to Christ.
In the meantime, tie a knot and hold on. Keep doing what you know is right, even if you don't feel like it. Stay in your Bible, keep on praying and remember:
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
© Adorning Grace 2010