Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Working Together for Good

  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God,
to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

I have had a dear friend of mine remind me of this verse many times over the past two weeks.  (Two weeks! It's only been two weeks - feels like a lifetime)  To be honest, I haven't wanted to hear it.  Good? How could losing my baby be for my good?  How could it even work for good?  I'm NOT listening! 

That is, I wasn't listening....until today. I am beginning to see some good...a little bit. 

There is a young lady who has visited our church a couple of times with her husband.  Their family are members of our church but her and her husband go to a different church.  After I miscarried, this lady sent me the sweetest letter, expressing her condolences and telling me that she also believes that she has PCOS and has found some herbal tinctures that have helped her.  At the time, I really didn't want to hear it but this past Saturday, I was able to sit down and talk to her and talk about them.  I explained that I'd like to give them a try and she offered to send me some coupons that she had to make them a little less expensive.

Today in the mail, I received another letter from this dear sister in Christ. She had written to let me know that she was praying for me and that I could expect the herbs to arrive sometime next week. She had ordered them for me!  They were not cheap; I was so overwhelmed.  What adds to this blessing is that I had thousands of dollars of injectible fertility medication in my refrigerator up until several weeks ago. I gave them to someone else who was going through infertility.  Many times over, the accuser has chided me saying, "ya, you gave them away and now look, you have nothing!"  Yet, I knew that God wanted me to give them away.  My husband said, "see, you gave what you had away and God provided something else."  What a blessing!

Another package arrived in the mail today.  A small package.  I almost dreaded opening it.  See, last year I had won a mother's necklace from a friend of mine who makes jewelry.  I had asked her to add the baby's birthstone to it and I knew that is what was waiting inside the package.   I opened it and saw to my surprise that the birthstone was a light blue blue.  I had known since the beginning this baby would be a boy and in my heart have named him Isaac.  For whatever reason, the Lord wanted us to offer this baby to Him.  Yes, I cried when I put the necklace on but they weren't tears of sadness.  They were tears of being completely overwhelmed at the goodness of God!

I am amazed at what God has done through all of this.  Two days ago, I had a lady ask me how I could have so much strength at such a time as this.  I explained to her that it wasn't my strength, it was the Lord's and was able to give her the plan of salvation. Pray for her please!

My pastor's wife wrote the other day and said something that I've been dwelling on.  She wrote:  

"[I] am so thankful that you are praising God through all of this.  God knew you would.  I know He has people He uses to give Him glory so that others will get help."
God knew I would....God KNEW I would.  God trusted me enough to allow me to go through this that I might praise Him.  I didn't even know if I could or would praise Him but God knew.  That blows my mind.   That the Lord has finally become so real in my life that He knew I'd praise Him. How can I help but to feel honored that He would choose me to give Him glory - even if it hurts.  

I've learned something about parenting through all of this too.  God the Father knew this would hurt me.  He knew I'd cry.  He knew I'd get angry. Yet for whatever reason, He allowed it for my good.  How much more should we do what is best for our children, even if we know they'll be upset or hurt or angry?  That's real love.  Amazing love.  God is SO very good and fellowship with Him is sweet.  

©2010 Adorning Grace

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